Melissa Goodnight

Yesterday was the TSA interviews for the 2024/2025 school year and my kid was running unopposed for President. He’s been President of TSA for the last two years. He was the middle school president in 8th grade and he was the first and only freshman president at the high school. I know you know this cause I yap about it all the time, Bro. You’re probably like, “GODDAMNIT Missy! We get it, your kid is awesome.”

And he is. But also sometimes he is not.

Like this weekend, when we sat down with him to explain the importance of writing his assignments in his planner (again), which led to us going through his grades and missing assignments, which led to a breakdown as it does every weekend and I was just fucking over it, you know?

I don’t know how a kid this awesome can be so totally incapable of writing shit in a planner, getting assignments in on time, and just, I dunno, just trying to get some As every now and then.

But yesterday morning after our come-to-your-lord-baby-shark talk, he was spinning up about how crazy this school year was and about how he will be in three AP classes next year and in the IB program and about how time-intensive band is and he wants to be a leader on the golf team and, and, and…

Whew.

We had been kicking some ideas around about how to lessen the load next year so he had more time to focus on academics and one of them was to either quit band or TSA, but only if he truly thought he needed more time to focus on academics.

As an aside, Jerimiah and I don’t think he needs more time we think he needs better time management, but you can’t really tell a 15-year-old that and make it sink in. We’ve tried. Then again, we aren’t him. And maybe he does need more time to be successful? Parenting is tough, huh?

So there he was frantically texting me from class 🙄 yapping about all this when I realized he was just fishing for me to tell him that it was okay if he didn’t run for president. That’s what he had decided he needed, but he wanted my support.

I had my little aha-moment then texted him that Dad and I would be proud of him for whatever his decision was and that we supported him stepping down if that’s what he needs to do.

And so he did. And guess what? The world did not end.

He got one of his friends to run, so he didn’t leave them leader-less, and he offered help if she ever needed it. And that was that. Their advisor was a little surprised but he understood. And Jackson’s friends said things like, “Ehh” and “Cool.” Which was them being supportive.

Why am I telling y’all this? Because there was a time when I truly thought that in order for my kid to be awesome, he needed to do all the things. Win all the things. Lead all the things. Get all As. But the truth is no he doesn’t have to do all that. And neither does your kid.

Our kids can just be awesome. Even when they’re not.

They can be awesome at their best and at their worst. After all, they’re kids and this is a tough world. And it is NOT the one we grew up in. And it never will be.

And if they have the ability to take stock and find out what motivates them, what stresses them out, and what makes them happy, and communicate that you then even better. And if they can’t do that quite yet, they’re still awesome and don’t worry they’ll figure it out one day. But I bet if you guide them a little, they will figure it sooner rather than later.

In the end their decision might not be the one you wished they made. It might not be what you wanted for them. And I suppose you don’t have to appreciate and support it, but it sure would be cool if you did. It sure would be cool if you gave them a soft landing spot. The one maybe you wished you had as a kid?

Because you know how difficult it is to make a big decision. And if you try hard you can probably remember what it felt like to be their age and to tell your parents about that thing that you were nervous to tell them.

So yeah. You won’t have to hear me talk so much about TSA next year. Aren’t you lucky? Next year will be all about how my kid is getting straight Bs and how he still isn’t writing in his GD planner. But you know, he’s still pretty fucking awesome.

M.