Melissa Goodnight

Gather round children, the eldest millennial has unearthed her baby book from the 1900s, mere days before her 43rd birthday. I hope it sends you, like it’s sending me. (Translation for GenX included.)

Raggedy Ann and Andy were 🔥 dunno if she was his sis or bae, but I totally ship them. #OTP

Translation: What was up with Raggedy Ann and Andy? Were they brother and sister or was it some Bert and Ernie shit? Doesn’t matter, they were voted cutest couple.

Brat
Translation: Brat Pack (but with an affinity for green)

“This baby savage.” – Your Grandma (No shade, Chat. My mom’s not an OK Boomer. #SilentGeneration.)

Translation: My mom wrote, “She has a mind of her own and uses it.” #BettyRizzoVibes (Don’t dis my mom, she was born in 1944.)

Papa was definitely Sigma. #Twizzy

Translation: My grandpa was solid. He wore the same threads everyday: overalls. I was his little sidekick. #Twins

Sissy and Missy. ☠️ #OGAuntie. Sippin’ orange drank from glass. #Sustainability

Translation: My GenX big sister and me. This picture kills me. She’s an original confident and cool older chick. She gave me Tang in a glass bottle.

Never hear you can’t eat hot dogs without a tooth. I ate and left no crumbs. #Wild

Translation: Ummmm. My mom gave me actual hot dogs before I had my first tooth. But no worries. I was all, “Hold my beer.”

AMPED, Lil Bro! Don’t side eye your grandma, she was a Baddie. BDE e’ywhere.

Translation: “She was such a happy baby.” Of course I was, Dude! Also look at my Foxy Momma! We WERE Mick Jagger!

Your great-grandpa mighta been low-key vibin’ but I was goofy ahh in my L-fit. I spy it. Say less, Sis.

Translation: My grandpa was a simple guy. But I looked like a space cadet in my crop top Care Bears’ t-shirt and farmer’s tan. You don’t have to rap about it. I see it clearly now, bosom bro.

Birthday number 2 was an entire vibe. 🎉 🎂 📸 🎀🛺🍭🍼🍦🦄❌😱 Not a big yikes in sight, fam.

Translation: My second birthday party 🪩 was pretty rad. 🕺🏻I got a Big Wheel and my mom noted that I, “…wasn’t afraid of anyone.”🤘🏼

I almost never throw up a set, but I FW finger guns. Cheugy tho?

Translation: I accidentally invented “finger guns.” Wicked regret.