Hello, Karen?

We’ve been phone banking for the Democrats of DeKalb. We live in DeKalb County Georgia. You’ve probably heard of us on the news lately, and hopefully they are pronouncing it correctly, it’s “Duh-Cab.” Anywho, we have over 500,000 registered voters in our county, but our population is about 800,000, so as you can see we have some work to day. DeKalb Democrats tries to get people registered to vote, it doesn’t matter how you register, which party you affiliate with. They also do phone banking to make sure people know they can vote in Georgia both in-person early (starting three weeks before Election Day) and also vote by mail, anyone can, you don’t know a “reason.”

That should probably explain all you need to know about how the state was flipped this year, considering you already know about Stacey Abrams and if you don’t then go ahead and Google her, or maybe read this.

Anyway, we have been phone banking and we let Jackson do it too. He actually really liked it. Might be illegal, might just be morally wrong, but he had a great time calling people and telling them how they can request an absentee ballot, he is a civically engaged kid, what a great way for him to learn about the voting process too!

So the other day while we were all phone banking, well Jackson and Jerimiah were, I did it one day then decided it was not for me (I am writing and sending postcards to voters instead) Jackson was getting some really lovely people on the phone, older ladies are his sweet spot of course, and they were chatting away with him, telling him all about their grandkids and what not. He ate it up, and can tell you all about Debra and her absentee ballot that she had to do because she’s been living in California with her grandkids for the last six months to ride out the pandemic. Anyway, so Jerimiah gets this really nasty lady on the phone and then we did something bad.

Jerimiah is chatting away and then we hear him get quiet and he’s all, “Umm, okay. Not sure what to do about that.” He called this woman, let’s call her “Theresa.” He called Theresa and said, “Hi is this Theresa?” And the white woman on the other end of the line decided to lose her shit on him about calling her. She said he had the wrong number, which is all she needed to say, she didn’t even know who he was or what organization he was with, she just flipped. Then said she was calling the cops, filing a police report, the whole nine yards. Jerimiah just politely hung up and then sat there in stunned silence for a moment before he told us what happened. He didn’t know what to do. Should he alert someone? Is there a no-call list? We shrugged. So he just marked her as “Wrong Number” in the system and hoped no one else would call her. Except…

Well I did call her. I asked for her number and used my Google phone number to ring her up. She answered and sounded like she was driving. She seemed to be a young, maybe 30s white woman with an attitude from hell, like I expected. So this time I said, “Hi, is Karen home?” And she was like, “Oh my God, you have the wrong number.” And I said, “So you are not Karen?” And she said, “Right.” And I said, “Are you sure you are not a Karen?” and we sat for a moment in silence before she hung up on me, and I gotta say, I did feel vindicated. Childish and immature too, but mostly vindicated.

I know, Michelle, I should have went high, but I just couldn’t. I’m all out of patience for people like that, and though y’all know I don’t prescribe to the whole “Karens are evil” thing, simply because I know some really nice Karens and I don’t think it’s fair, it is a social construct that does exist and I did exploit it and for that I am sorry. To all the other Karens, not that bitch.

Be safe and well, y’all.

M.

Georgia, Please Vote

The Georgia Run-off Election for two senate seats and a public commissioner seat is on January 5th. The candidates are that bitch Kelly Loeffler, ugh, against Rev. Raphael Warnock in one race, and a piece-of-shit-Gov.-Brian-Kemp-ass-licker David Purdue against Jon Ossoff.

It’s important to note that Kelly Loeffler was not voted into her current seat, she was placed there by that ass-hat Gov. Brian Kemp. It’s also important to know that both have come out in support of Trump’s outrageous lies about election fraud, which makes sense considering they both lost in the election.

To be clear, there is a state law in Georgia that requires candidates (other than the ones in the Presidential race) to receive 50% + 1 of the votes in order to win. None of the candidates in the two senate races were able to do that in the general election, though Purdue and Ossoff were the closest because it was only the two of them.

The other race had too many names to count. Several Republicans and several Democrats and maybe Little Wayne, who can remember. Anyway, even with those odds Reverend Raphael Warnock, the pastor at Ebenezer Baptist Church (MLK’s church) won the most votes with 30-some percent of the vote. Warnock even beat that bitch Kelly Loeffler. (By the way I keep trying to make her name lowercase because she’s that much of a bitch, but it autocorrects it. Did I mention she is friends with that crazy QAnon lady?)

So what can you do? Well if you live in Georgia please vote! You can vote absentee, anyone can, Jerimiah and I requested our ballots last week. You can also vote early in-person at any precinct, starting three weeks before the election with the exception of Christmas Day, or you can vote in-person on Election Day. If you wait until Election Day to vote, you have to vote at your assigned precinct.

If you do not live in Georgia you can help too! Jerimiah and I have been phone banking this week, which is really easy to do! We have been phone banking with an organization we are apart of, the DeKalb Democrats, which is our county’s Democratic group, but several groups are doing it. You can Google it and it will take you to a group to help out.

You can also send money to either Ossoff or Warnock, you can purchase items from their website, we have a Warnock shirt and a bad-ass Ossoff shirts that says, “Vote your Ossoff!”

So, why would you want to help? As you can see in the above, these two seats would swing the senate into a 50-50 tie (the two Independents vote with Dems, hello Bernie!) for control and guess who the tie-breaker is in the event it comes down to one? The Madam Vice-President!

With control of the White House, Congress, and the Senate, Biden can certainly get some good things done in the first two years, at least. So this is a very important election. It also is probably why you are super tired of reading and hearing about this great state of ours when you turn your tv on or open your favorite news source, but y’all, this is why it’s so important.

I implore you to help us out if you can, if you have the means, if you have the time. If you live in Georgia PLEASE vote! Vote like you did in for the General Election, vote like your life depends on it, because it does.

Be safe and sane, y’all.

M.