Look it, I like dudes. Some more than others, to be sure. I like my husband a super, duper lot. I like my friends who are part of the male species. I like my son. But I also don’t like a lot of dudes. I won’t name them here but let’s just say, I have grievances. It started, probably, with my deadbeat dad and it has just matured over time. Time and situations. Situations and little moments. I’m turning 38 this year, and I swear to you every year closer I am to 40, the more angry I am. Is this normal? Doesn’t matter.
Today I am angry at some dudes and have decided to write a list of things that have been said to me, by dudes, in my lifetime, in no particular order. Things said to me either in person, over the phone, over text or email, or under their breath when they thought I couldn’t hear. Some were shouted in my general direction when I was with a group of girls, some were directed at me. Some I thought was sweet when they were said because I just didn’t understand at the time, and some made my stomach turn. Some I smiled through and some I turned and said, “What the fuck did you say to me?” Some, most, I simply ignored. This is not an exhaustive list and it does not include any physical abuse or sexual assaults that I have encountered, and I have encountered some. It’s strictly times boys or men have said gross things to me, times that I can remember with some clarity.
It’s gross and demeaning, and a lot sad and I am super fucking sick of it. These are all things said to me, at me. As a child, as a teenager, as a young woman, and as a married mommy. I know some women are harassed much more than me, and for that I am sorry. I am sorry that any of us have to go through this, but here we are.
I implore you girls, and ladies, and women, make your own list and see what creeps up from all the creeps. This helped me realize how jacked up the world treats us and it made me stronger knowing I lived through all this and continue to, and still have the desire to fight and march and smash the patriarchy in their stupid faces. Maybe if you make your own list it will help you too. Much love and solidarity, sisters.
A List of Gross Things Boys or Men Have Said to Me
- You are so pretty when you smile
- You don’t miss a meal do’ya?
- If you won’t suck my dick, I’m leaving
- Girls aren’t supposed to do “that” (insert whatever the fuck “that” is)
- Women aren’t funny, stop trying to be
- Want to see my cock?
- Girls can’t run
- Someday you will find a guy who likes tubby girls
- You HAVE to kiss me
- You won’t understand this kind of work
- Whores! Sluts!
- You should’t wear shirts that tight
- Are you jealous because you friend is so much prettier?
- Girls can’t write about that
- Does she have to come too?
- Girl sports aren’t real sports
- Do you do blowjobs?
- I didn’t invite you because I didn’t think you’d fit in the car with us
- What size bra do you wear?
- Fat girls aren’t sexy
- You two should kiss each other and I’ll watch
- You’re the queen of pimples
- You just don’t fit the “image” we are trying to display
- I’m the best you will get
- My sister has an eating disorder and she lost weight, maybe you should try that?
- She’s the cock-blocker
- 1st guy: She’s not my type. 2nd guy: She isn’t anyone’s type.
- Just because you are a little smart, doesn’t mean you know anything. You’re a girl.