As you probably know by now, today is my 38th birthday. And listen, this is the first year that I have not kept a running count somewhere of the days until my birthday. It’s exhausting. It is also the first year I haven’t really celebrated a “Birthday Week” for myself. Jerimiah was in Baton Rouge for most of it, and while he sent me little Amazon packages everyday, it wasn’t the same as him being here to celebrate, so by Sunday I was feeling a little blue. Then a friend said, “Birthday Smirthday” and I was all, maybe she’s right. Maybe it isn’t so much the celebration of getting things, or doing things, as much as like, I dunno, appreciating how far you have come as a person. If you read my blog yesterday you know how far I think I have come. If you didn’t read it, check it out. I only use the F-word once. See, I’m growing up. Haha, just kidding. #ForFucksSake

Anyway, that’s not the thing I am here to talk to you about today. Today I am here to not talk, if that is possible, rather just share some pics. So, please enjoy some “Missy in various stages” pics for my birthday. It’s like my gift to you. Now where are my gifts, assholes?

Kidding. Kind of.

M.

Above: Toucan Sam and me, My sister’s broken leg and my butt, Belinda and me at “The Bears” at the Leavenworth Plaza.

Above: Christmas 1980-something, Carrying a totally 80s chair, sitting on the floor in front of the tv with my baby doll, duh.

Above: My mom’s creepy boyfriend, Bill on the birthday he bought me a bike, Breakfast in bed on your birthday was a tradition in our house (also, check that shirt out #RaisedRoyal), With Barbie and my favorite Popples.

Polaroids were a big hit in our house in the 80s. Though I couldn’t tell you who it was that owned a fancy camera like that. Probably whomever owned that fancy truck. Cause that wasn’t ours. We didn’t have a car. That was our front yard though! Right next to BK. A BK with a funhouse! (Processed Food is the best!)

Above: I’m trying to half-heartedly feed a prairie dog at Prairie Dog Park in Lawton, Oklahoma. If he would have gotten any closer, though, I would have shit my denim skirt. Also, there is me in a sweater with a “D” on it. This one has stumped me for years. There is no “D” in any of my names, so…garage sale find maybe? The last pic is with my sisters, the Christmas, I believe, before Khristi moved to Germany.

My frist camera! I remember how cool this was and how bad-ass I thought I was going to be with it hanging around my neck.

Above: Is that a boy in the bathtub? No, just me in like third grade. One time my mom nailed a wooden basketball hoop to a tree at just the right height for me to always do a slam dunk. Last pic: Peace, love, and Tweety Bird.

Middle school dance, anyone? I’m pretty sure I didn’t dance with anyone. High school graduation with my BFF, Lee Anne, and posing on a stack of hay in my sister’s front yard right after high school. I was WAY into khakis and button-ups.