I know it’s been a couple of tough-ass weeks, y’all. Couple months. Couple years? Decades? Centuries? Depending on the color of your skin, I suppose. The point is we are all dealing with a lot right now. A lot. Patsy (that’s my therapist, for all you new followers) likes to remind me that on any given day we are dealing with a lot. Then you throw in a global pandemic, a crippling economy, having to stay inside, a sudden, urgent need to advocate stronger than ever for our BIPOC friends, protesting, keeping other people accountable, learning how to unlearn what our culture has trained us to know, not to mention that we are inundated with violent videos of police officers murdering and attacking Americans, well it’s a tough place out there. And no one has the answers. That’s the icing on the cake. The uncertainty of it all. No one knows what our world looks like on the other side. Having said all that, here are some gentle reminders to keep in mind as we move forward.
1. We don’t have to have all the answers today. The thing about learning and growing is that it takes time. And some of us need to remember that. (Raising my hand here!) On the fourth day of protesting last week, Jerimiah and I flopped onto our bed and looked at each other in total loss and confusion. We were tired. Really tired. Mentally more than physically, emotionally more than mentally. We realized we needed a rest. We pushed too hard too fast and you can’t do that with a revolution, it’s an ongoing process and we are here for the long haul.
2. You are not alone. Man I know it feels like it sometimes. It feels like you’re the only one in your family or friend or social circle who thinks this way or that way. You’re the only one who has thought that one thing or who wants to say that other thing. You’re not. We always think we’re exceptional in our original actions and thoughts, but more often than not we are merely exceptionally average. A lot of people are feeling what you are feeling right now, wanting to say what you want to say, but they are unable for one reason or another. Just keep the conversation going, they will find you.
3. You are loved. Even on days when your brain tells you that you are not loved, you are. Look around. Look out your window. Call your mom, or your best friend. Write a poem. Listen to your favorite song. You’ll feel it again.
4. We learn from mistakes, which is good ‘cause we’re gonna make them. We grow from them too. And if you think you’re too old, or too stubborn, or too whatever to learn and grow, you’re wrong.
5. You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay. Maybe not today. Probably not tomorrow, but one day life will feel better. And when it is, we will have these days to look back and reflect on. And we will see how far we’ve come.
I know as the weeks go on, and things get tougher, we’ll need to rely on each other more and more to do the heavy lifting. So ask yourself today, are you the kind of person that can hold another up when they are low and you are high? Are you ready for the heavy lifting? If not, that’s okay. Rest today. We’ve got you for now.