• When I say yes to a flavor shot in my iced coffee at Dunkin’
• When my stomach has been rumbling and I trust a fart
• Yelling, “Turn it up!” as I dance on a bar after three shots of tequila
• Answering the door
• That fourth enchilada
• Every time I say, “I can help!” at a PTO meeting
• “Ohhh, this gives me an idea! I’m gonna need some Sharpies.”
• “What?! Me? I’ll be fine in the morning! Yes, another glass of wine!”
• Open>Excel
• Answering the phone for a number I don’t know
• Answering the phone for a number I do know
• Sign-up for a 20% off code
• Using the bathroom at a Captain D’s
• “What did Daddy say? It doesn’t matter, sure do it.”
• Buying anything in a BOGO deal
• Chinese food
• Trying “something new” at Great Clips
• Sign-up Genius
• Horseback riding
• Screaming, “Ain’t no laws, when you’re drinking Claws” as I jump off the roof of the dock
• Agreeing to a dance off
• Taco Bell
• “We need another dog…”
• Crawling out a bathroom stall in a Southern Missouri Quik Trip because the latch wouldn’t give and I had a panic attack thinking I’d be trapped forever
• Offering to babysit
• Scuba diving
• Getting a pint of Ben and Jerry to limit myself, then eating my pint and my kid’s pint
• “Let’s do the Couch to 5K!”
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• Sitting on the ground criss-cross apple sauce
• “I should be able to flush this toilet one more time…”
• Trying a new recipe
• Vacationing anywhere in Louisiana
• Agreeing to donate to a canned food drive
• Zoom
• Jumping on the trampoline after I’ve had babies, and vodka
• Vodka, all kinds
• Attempting to teach my son the “Thriller” dance on a rainy night
• Screaming, “You don’t know who Ronnie Milsap is?!” at someone I just met
• Girls’ Night Out Painting Class
• “Are you still watching?”
• Free Trial!
• My third Diet Coke

Be safe out there, y’all.

M.